To The Friend Who Left

To the friend who left.

Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. I still remember when we had our late night talks or our workout sessions or the little times we spent. Then it started to fade and one day we stopped talking. Silence. The silence of winter months after a prosperous summer. It happened slowly and we both settled in this new normal. You went on with your life and me with mine. We never properly said goodbye and probably never will. I still have you in my prayers and hope that you’re happy and safe every day. It’s the least I could do. The occasional talks are dull and there’s not much to say. That’s in contrast to the days we would talk until the sun rose or the stories we’d tell each other.

Who to blame? You? Me? Ignorance? Naivety perhaps.

Some friends you’ll go for months and years without talking but every time you’re together you feel like all this time passed in a breeze and it’s just like the good old days. Other friends, you’ll lose contact with and occasionally see them in your feed once in a while and rejoice at their accomplishments, always too scared to talk to them first. “If he didn’t do it, why should I? We’re both living our life and he’s content without me.” It’s a vicious cycle.

But at the same time, you have friends that you mainly talk online. With those friends, a pandemic affects you less and you can maintain a strong bond, despite everything the pandemic brought. Other friends, you mostly talk in person, and you might have been really close with them but when the pandemic hit, you drifted away not because of anyone, but because you weren't used to the status quo. You never really got in the habit of talking online and so, you drift apart.

Some friends you meet by circumstances. Then you have those that understand you and that you truly cherish. They are your closest friends and the ones you want to spend most of your time with.

As you grow you realize that friends come and go. Memories are built and they are to be cherished. They make you grow and every one of them accumulates to the person you are today. As much as spending time with them is important, time alone and with the ones you truly cherish is time best spent. After all, they are the ones most likely to stick with you for the coming years and any investment in you is an investment for the future.

And to the friend who left, you know a version of me that doesn't exist anymore.